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Persuasion of Cake

11 Sep

Which of the following ways to make money look like the most fun to you?

When you get stuck with a gross job you don’t like, such as baby sitting, what do you say? “Oh, I wish I could find a better job?”   If so, I have an idea for you. The solution for your problem is to make cakes to sell. It is better than babysitting, where you have to change poopy diapers, or mowing lawns in the hot sun. Making cakes is a good idea because you get a good profit, it is your passion (if you are artistic and you like to bake), and it’s better than yard work.

People who like to make cakes should try to sell them because it is their passion.  If it’s not your bag to babysit, and you’d like to make cakes, and you want to earn money, then why don’t you make cakes to sell?

I know someone named Yvonne Loy who is in the cupcake/cake business and loves it. She might not be the best cake maker ever, but I think she’s great. Her store is called Le Cupcake at 5563 Briarhurst Center in Lincoln. Le Cupcake won “Lincoln’s Choice Awards” just two months after opening! They were even on Cupcake Wars!

The craziest thing is that I am distantly related to Yvonne. She works with her niece and her husband. She likes working with her family and you can do that when you own the business.

Some people say you can’t cook for others because there are Health Department rules and you can’t lick your fingers or do things the way you do at home. Yvonne says that you just have to know the rules and be able to follow them. The difference between baking for home and baking for sales is that she can’t lick her fingers and that there are rules from the Health Department: they must use disinfectant to rinse all equipment; the bowls must be stored upside down so they don’t get dust or bugs in them; the fridge needs to be “in order”: produce on top and eggs on the bottom.

I don’t think it’s very hard to follow these rules, either. I would just have to put up a list that has the rules on it.

Hey. I know that you are going to fail trying sometimes. But don’t feel bad about it. It’s happened to me. It’s happened to Yvonne. But she didn’t let that get her down, did she? Yvonne told me, “I have thrown away a lot of cupcakes in the process of testing recipes. Before cupcakes…I was making monkey bread in an angel food cake pan and I put the sauce on it and it spilled out all over the oven. It started smoking. I am surprised it didn’t start a fire. Epic fail.”

Ending up in the cake business is WAY better than ending up with a crappy job like moving furniture with a mean old guy who smokes. And would you rather be able to eat the scraps of cake and the cakes that don’t sell or getting all sweaty and grass-covered mowing lawns? I would choose the first one. There are so many jobs that I would rather not do because of many reasons. Here are some: they make you stink, you would have to get up really early, you could hurt yourself in ways like pulling or tearing a muscle, and you could get really dirty. And yes, you could chop off a finger with a knife making cakes, but all you need is proper training with a knife or an adult with you.

Best of all is profit. When you are doing yard work, most times people are grumpy and unreasonable. They only give like, five bucks an hour. And if you only end up working 20 minutes, then you get around one dollar. Making cakes does require you to pay for ingredients, but it is worth it if you are good enough at making cakes and you can find someone who wants a birthday cake for their kid. A birthday cake that looks good costs around 25 bucks. Even the Hy-Vee cake with the horrible frosting is 24!

You can sell them for the same amount or even less (for more satisfied customers) and it will taste even better. When you make your own cake, you make a home-made frosting that tastes at least 99% better than Hy-Vee’s frosting and is only one flavor. Yvonne has like, 50 different flavors that are yummy. You can invent your own flavors just like her. Your customers will judge the cakes by appearance, not taste. You can help their decision by using fondant to cover your cakes. Fondant is a Play-Doh like edible substance that is really cute and makes the cakes almost look alive because it helps bring out color and will mold easily into any shape, even flowers.

The thing is, you have to buy the things you need, like the fondant, for the cake. That means you have to PAY. Altogether, the ingredients would cost about $6 to $7. In the cake business, you might have to buy the ingredients, but you actually get something out of it. In case you don’t know what that something is, I’ll tell you. PROFIT. You get profit. You don’t have to put out money for babysitting, so I guess you can babysit if you don’t mind poopy diapers and only 5 to 10 dollars an hour, depending on how old you are. Not me. I mind. I would much rather make a cake that altogether costs 6 dollars and sell it for around $25 than baby sit.

You had better make a decision now, people! I have written too much now, so it’s your choice, not mine: poopy diapers and yard work vs. cakes. Diapers stink, and yard work MAKES you stink. But cakes smell good. And they taste good. I really don’t think that poop or leaves would taste very good. Don’t try that at home or anything, but I’m just saying. If what you want and need is passion and profit, please try cakes. All I’m sayin’ is give it a chance. You ever heard the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover?” Well, if you have, then don’t automatically say no to cakes even if you don’t like cake-making.

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Uncle Bob’s Toilet Cake

19 Sep

It was a toilet bowl.  It was white.  It even had poop at the bottom.  When I first saw it I was disgusted, but then I realized that I was even more disgusted  ….  It was a toilet CAKE!!! (The poop wasn’t real, it was just melted tootsie rolls). The worst thing about it being a cake is that it was my Uncle Bob’s 50th BIRTHDAY CAKE!!

When you turn 50, you might as well try to have fun and enjoy all the life you have left.  I mean, once you find the “importance of laughter” your life will be fine. I just hope you find it far before you get over the hill and too old to count.

This is not the real cake, it’s just one I found online, although it looks similar.

People of all ages, from 1 to 100, need a good laugh once in a while, and cakes not only make us laugh but are delicioso. What’s the point of making a cake that’s just plain old round ‘n boring anyway (?!) when you can make…

…something like this:

When I first saw this cake, I thought it looked like a nerdy turtle. The body looks like an overgrown cupcake.  It would more than likely be for a kid than for a 99-year-old man.  You wouldn’t want him to think the point of this cake is to tell him he’s slow.  He probably wouldn’t be laughing.

As you can see, this one looks like a fast-food meal.  It was chosen because it resembles real food, which makes it pretty funny.  This edible monument is one of the most well-done cakes that I’ve ever seen.  It’s perfect for a teenager.  I couldn’t imagine how much work it would have taken to make this. I mean, it looks impossible, don’t you think?

Now THIS murderous  meal looks like an adult’s cake. It appears to be so real, even a five-year-old would run off crying!  At age 11, you would find it funny, but you wouldn’t eat it because it would feel too cruel.  Why do adults think it is so funny?  Although animals are still important to adults, they are not as important as they would be to young people.  I think the cake would be more for an adult, also, because grown-ups are more used to sarcasm.  A young child would think it was a real lamb!  I’m used to sarcasm, too, but I still wouldn’t eat it because–it feels so wrong!  If you think this cake looks wrong, wait until you see the next one!

This cake would be perfect for a Halloween birthday. My brother’s birthday is October 20th, but he’s in third grade. He might not have a problem with the cake, but most of his friends might. Imagine walking into a birthday party and seeing a severed arm on a platter on the table. Not a very pretty sight, is it, huh?  If little kids saw it, they would scream and run away!

The main reason this is story was written is so people understand the importance of laughter.  These cakes really do the trick.  Even if you’re 100, you will still find them funny–actually, I would say hilarious.   Let me tell you some advice:  Don’t ever have a party with a boring, old, round cake.  Those are lame.

–Taylor

 

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